Our Phones No Longer Ring On Us

I think it was one of our ex-Crabites that added me. I cannot figure out the name. when I checked the name “Crabites HomeComing 2015,” well, maybe it was created by one of those overzealous “Crabites” whom I am one of. “Crabite” in quote because some of my friends have sworn never to have anything to do with the name after graduation.  Anyway, that is a topic for another day. ‘Well, this could be my new channel of posting my “annoying blog posts,”’ I thought.  So, I started posting without checking the contents and members of the group. After getting few likes from my one or two posts, I told myself ‘business is going to be good with this newfound group’ and I decided to increase the posts. Just then, Don Kester came for me and he said: 

“Please, let’s minimize the posting of info not directly related to the purpose of the page.Thanks bro.”    

Chineke!  ‘Who is this man that want to use his reggae to spoil my blues?’  ‘Wait, I need to have a second look at the group,’  then I saw Bob Emmanuel  in one of the comments.’ Could this be the real Bob Emmanuel?’ ‘I mean the Nollywood Star and now a Politician?’ ‘No, perhaps the account is owned by one of those online scammers who use high profile people to get noticed.’ Then I saw Dr. Ovunda Ihunwo. ‘Wait o, is he the one I know?  I mean the newest Doc?’  ‘Even if there might be many “Bob Emmanuels” now, but there is only one Ovunda Ihunwo on Facebook with glasses, like that of Ola Rotimi or is it Awolowo?’ ‘Chie! That man na my man o! na only be say him no gree say I fit act. Him no just like my face, I no sabi wetn I do am.’ ‘Ifeco ih fit be your fault o you know say you sabi stammer with lines.’  Thank God for Mr. Somebody sha , wey  make me fit act small.’ Then I  saw Dr. Edward Imo. ‘Wow! The gods are wise! This must be real! Because the gods do not gather on a void ground.’ ‘Mr. Don Kester Oshioreame‎  no controversy!  I will respect the rule of the game.’ ‘In fact, you need to be on my friends list. I love men like you.’

‘If this year Crabites’ Homecoming is real as I have seen, it means then that our brothers and sisters who have made it to the other side and have attended the status of celebrities will also be available. That means I will have a second opportunity to take a picture  or selfie with Bob Emmanuel who refused to snap with us the last time. Then Madam Hilda Dokubo?  That woman is too nice and ageless. The last handshake she gave  to me during the maiden edition I still have the photocopy of my hand. Probably, she will hug me this time. My goodness if that happens, I am going to photocopy my chest for reference purpose.  Monalisa   Chindah may also show up again.  The yellow wey that lady yellow the last timei no understand, I no know weda she dey come out for sun at all. I don’t know if Rita Dominic will show up this time. I learnt she came the last time but it was only at the last party at Shell. Who knows if Yul Edochie will decide to come this time. I love that guy! Have you ever  listened to him when he talks? Truly, he has been able to carve a niche for himself in the industry. I wanted to write on his acting style and his achievement in  the industry on my B. A project. In fact, he was my first repeated choice on the list but the committee changed my topic. Rita and Yul don’t show up at all. Maybe they are among those who got disillusioned after passing through this hot incubator. I am sure Charles Nnojie, Victor Osuagwu, Ejike Asuegbu, Fracis Duru, LANCELOT and others would come.’    

‘This could be business for me. Yes, it could be a means to increase the traffic on my blog. I can’t wait for 10,000 views and maybe 5,000 comments or more and get the attentions of some online business agencies.  It is possible for Vangaurd, Sun, Daily Trust, Nation, Lindaikeji, BelleNaija  and others collecting my pictures and  acknowledging me on their blogs. To God if I find my picture on any blog without an acknowledgement, I will sue hell and heaven out of that person!  Before AIT, NTA will finish editing, I must have sent hundreds of pictures and first -hand information. I need a very good camera for this event. There is a Samsung product that I am in love with, 150k on Jumia. ‘Ifeco  the dreamer! where will you get such an amount?’ ‘shut up there, you spirit of little faith,  Just believe! When is Black Friday? If worst comes to a worst ,I will employ the service of my friend Ralph Obot. The guy has a good camera too.’ 

 ‘Then the countdown continued.  The months were reduced to days. When will our H. O. D. call for a congress like Madam did? (Dr. Julie Umokoro)  why are students not talking about it?’ I still remember the nostalgic   feelings I always have each time I recall the last edition.  ‘Could it be that the supposed HomeComing will be only happen on the facebook page?   God let it not be!’  Then I took to facebook to express my mind and make my “#criticalobservation” as if that will rekindle the fire, but it was to no avail. The notifications stop coming, OUR  PHONES NO LONGER RING ON US. The candle light keep fading as the day go by. I kept wishing that something should just happen to spark up the fire. I got tired of colleagues trying to know  from their information minister if the event will still hold or if there is a change of date. I never believed it will not hold until the D-day. Well, Mr. Don Kester Oshioreame‎ has formerly come out to announce the worst and has given reasons for it, which hitches on security and other managerial issues.

WHAT WENT WRONG

In as much as there is some truth in the reasons given so far for the purged get together. Security is very important, especially with the recent security challenges in the country.  Our celebrities in different fields who made themselves available for the event must feel free to express themselves and join us in parades and road show without fear of being mobbed by fans an end up losing their phones and other valuables to trouble makers. Most especially, those who will prefer to some in jumpy chiffon, “bon shorts”, handkerchiefs, and decide to show “something” like my good friends and former course mates, Blessing Nwachukwu, Clara Assor and Jenij.

However, I think the problem started when the organizers perhaps for reasons best known to them , wittingly or unknowingly,  gave us the impression that they are certain people this year Homecoming is being organized for, “ the celebrities”  without which the event is not going to be possible. I believe everyone must be carried along. CARNIRIV or Calabar  Carnival is not organized for specific kind of people.

Furthermore, Homecoming cannot be organized on a Facebook page only. A seed must first be planted on the soil, then it will decay, find some base on the soil inform of some roots before it will blossom and develop stern, branches, leaves and fruits. It those not happen on the other way round. Homecoming must transit from that incubator without which it may not succeed.

Now that the possibilities of the event holding this year have  been exhausted, can we now melt our gold together and look forward next year?  I believe  in possibilities. It is possible to organized a very successful Homecoming next year and when it will happen, we all will be here to make it possible.

Thank you for reading my nonsense that has sense. CRITICS TAKE NOTE.

Sincerely Yours

~Charles Ifeco~

(That Igbo boy that hardly talk)